So here we are. Rock bottom. Not the “emotional” kind (although I did once get winded tying my shoelaces), but the physical kind — the kind where your jeans threaten legal action every time you sit down and stairs feel like a personal attack.

My name’s Scott, and I’m currently in the worst shape of my life. No exaggeration. If there were a competition for “most creative ways to avoid exercise,” I’d be wheezing my way to the podium. The last time I checked, I was 240lbs. Like — WTF, bro?! That’s over 17 stone… or nearly 110kg if you prefer your horror metric. “What the hell have you been playing at?” — says my annoyingly fit alter ego, doing burpees in the corner of my mind.

But here’s the thing: in July, I’m moving house. We’re doing it ourselves. No movers. No shortcuts. Just me, a collection of furniture I once swore was “minimalist,” and a mountain of stairs that already haunt my dreams. And right now? I’d struggle to carry a bag of crisps without a break halfway.

So… welcome to The Fit Rebuild — part accountability journal, part comedy of errors, part slow-motion comeback story.

🏋️‍♂️ So what is this blog?

This is me trying to get fit again, with the internet watching (and hopefully laughing with me, not at me — though I’ll take what I can get). I’ll be uploading:

• Videos of me working out (with real sweat, not Instagram-filtered nonsense).
• What I’m eating and cooking (yes, real food, no kale worship required).
• How I’m sticking to a calorie deficit without becoming a joyless husk.
• My routine, my progress, and my many, many questionable decisions along the way.

There will be measurements, updates, mishaps, mild swearing, and probably one or two broken resistance bands.

😬 Why am I doing this publicly?

Because if I don’t, I’ll just keep saying, “I’ll start Monday” until it’s 2047 and I’m still blaming the weather for not going on a walk.

I need the accountability, and I figured if I can make someone smile (or spit out their tea laughing) while I try to get my act together, then we all win.

🤝 What I promise you

• No BS. No fake abs, no sponsored detox teas, no shirtless flexing in unnatural lighting (you’re welcome).
• Honesty. If I fall off the wagon, I’ll tell you — and probably write a dramatic post about it.
• Progress. Slow, sweaty, slightly sarcastic progress.

So, if you’ve ever felt like starting again — or if you’re just here to see a man try to deadlift his dignity — you’re in the right place.

This is the rebuild.

Let’s go!

Scott